


Worthy

by whereiismymindd



Series: Rainy Nights [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6263797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereiismymindd/pseuds/whereiismymindd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>12-year-old Anakin is upset because other Jedi think he isn't good enough. Obi Wan tries to help him, while dealing with some demons of his own.</p><p>(Even though it is part of a series, it can be read as a one shot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worthy

**Author's Note:**

> So, I decided to write more stories like Fear, following Anakin and Obi Wan's relationship through the years. Or at least that's the plan, we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I hope you like this story.

Obi Wan opened his eyes and automatically reached for his lightsaber. Something had woken him up. Something…

A peal of thunder and the clatter in the kitchen, followed by a muffled curse were his answer.

Leaving his lightsaber on the nightstand, he woke up and went to the kitchen. His padawan was attempting to cook something, but not managing to find the right utensils. He seemed on edge, opening and closing cupboards and drawers, his body tense and his movements clumsy, the opposite of his usual self.

Obi Wan stood there for a moment, watching, but he soon realized that unless he did something, he would be ignored. He walked up to Anakin, placed both hands on his shoulders and started guiding him towards one of the chairs. Anakin didn’t resist, he simply sat down and stared hard at the table. He still hadn’t even acknowledged his master’s presence. Obi Wan decided to take over the cooking.

‘I thought you weren’t afraid of the rain anymore,’ he said, casually, with no hint of reproach, as he started getting the ingredients to make pancakes.

‘I’m not. It still makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I can sleep through it. Usually,’ answered Anakin, addressing the table.

When there was no further explanation, Obi Wan stole a glance at the boy. He was twelve now, and the master could already see glimpses of the man he would become. He was taller, and his muscles were more defined. His face wasn’t so round anymore. Had so much time gone by already?

‘And what happened today?’

Anakin shrugged. Just when Obi Wan thought his apprentice would ignore the question, the boy answered, quietly: ‘They say I’m not good enough.’

At that, Obi Wan stopped what he was doing and went to sit at the table with Anakin. He tried to keep calm and speak softly, even though he could already feel his rage building.

‘What? What are you talking about, Padawan? Who said that?’

‘I won’t tell you who, Master. Many people.’ Anakin kept his eyes on the table. Anyone who didn’t know him would think he was furious, but Obi Wan knew that the annoyed expression on his padawan’s face was a mask. He was hurt. He carried on, getting more and more upset. ‘Padawans, knights, even masters! They all say I’m not good enough. That I was too old when I started training here, that I’m too impulsive, too dangerous. That you can control me now, but in a few years you won’t be able to. That you were the “perfect padawan”, and I don’t deserve to have you as my Master. They say bad things about Qui Gon, too. That he had to be a rebel even when he died, so he left you stuck with me.’

Obi Wan saw red. How long had these people been saying those nasty things behind his back? How had he missed it? Fellow Jedi! How did they dare to talk like that about Qui Gon? About a 12-year-old boy who, in spite of his power, was still just a child? He grabbed Anakin’s hand hard, and the boy looked at his master’s face for the first time, startled by the force of his grip.

‘Listen to me, Padawan, and listen very carefully. You are right where you’re supposed to be. You are more than good enough. You are brilliant. I _love_ having you as my Padawan, even when you make me angry, even when we fight. That doesn’t change and will not change. _Ever_.’

Anakin’s eyes filled with tears and Obi Wan’s throat closed. How long had it been since he’d seen his padawan cry? He couldn’t even remember.

‘I’m just so tired of it, Master. I know I don’t belong here. I know I’m different. I’m not like you. I will never be the perfect padawan… I don’t want you to get tired of me,’ added Anakin, looking anywhere but at his master’s face.

‘Anakin, look at me.’

Anakin’s pained gaze fixed on him and Obi Wan almost had to look away. Anakin was now openly crying, tears rolling down his face, and he was biting his lip in order to maintain some control. The master almost forgot what he was going to say, but quickly recovered.

‘You do belong here, I promise you. Qui Gon wouldn’t have brought you here and I wouldn’t have agreed to train you if we thought you didn’t. Yes, you’re different. But how is that a _bad_ thing? You are powerful. You are intelligent. You are an amazing pilot. You can repair and build anything. So what if you weren’t trained here since you were a little boy? You’ve already caught up with everyone. You’re doing fine in all of your classes, even though some of your grades could be a little higher…’ Obi Wan teased.

Anakin smiled a little, and squeezed his master’s hand.

‘What they say about you simply isn’t true. And let me tell you one more thing. The things they say about Qui Gon and me? They aren’t true either. Yes, Qui Gon could be a bit rebellious, but he always remained calm, always listened to the Force before making any decision. If he decided to train you, it was because the Force was guiding him to do it. And even though he didn’t always see eye to eye with the Council, they all respected him very much. He was a great Jedi and a great Master, and I am honored to have been his Padawan.’

Obi Wan felt his eyes burning with unshed tears. Qui Gon was always such a sensitive subject for him. He took a deep breath and went on, glad that he could keep his voice from shaking.

‘And what they say about me? The “perfect padawan”?’ Obi Wan gave a humorless laugh. ‘Qui Gon didn’t even want me at first. I almost didn’t get to _be_ a padawan. I had to work hard to become the Jedi I am today, but I wasn’t _perfect_. I argued with my Master all the time. I used to be a very angry, overly serious young man. Qui Gon had to constantly remind me to “live in the moment”. I struggled a lot with that. I still do…’

Obi Wan became quiet and Anakin frowned.

‘Are you okay, Master?’ he asked, squeezing his hand even more tightly.

But Obi Wan quickly snapped out of his trance and smiled at his young apprentice.

‘I’m okay. So you see, Ani, people will always talk, even when they have no idea what they’re talking about. You are an amazing padawan, you are _my_ padawan. And of course you have flaws and weaknesses, but we all do. So, please, don’t listen to them. I won’t get tired of you, I could _never_ get tired of you. And I feel very lucky to have you in my life.’

Anakin suddenly got up, and without hesitation he walked around the table and embraced his master in a very tight hug.

Obi Wan returned it with the same force. He told himself he was comforting his padawan, but deep down he knew that he also needed the comfort. He would never admit it out loud, _never_ in front of his apprentice, but he sometimes felt very _young_. He still half expected to see the braid behind his ear when he looked in the mirror. He sometimes woke up and had to remind himself that Qui Gon wouldn’t be there. Some days, he looked at his padawan, and he couldn’t believe that he had been a master for more than three years already.

‘Thank you so much, Master. You are the best. And I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t listen to them. I just get so frustrated sometimes,’ Anakin said, pulling back from the hug.

‘I can imagine. If you told me who they were, I could… I don’t know… scare them a little. Especially the padawans. I’ve been told I can be pretty scary.’

Anakin laughed, a real, honest laugh, and Obi Wan felt incredibly relieved. His padawan’s emotions affected him so deeply, his usually calm and collected manner went flying out the window at the first sign of the boy’s distress.

‘I’m sure you could, Master. But it isn’t a very good idea. I can deal with it. Don’t worry.’

‘I’m sure you can, my young apprentice. You don’t have to tell me. But if I ever find out, I can’t promise you I will keep my mouth shut.’

‘Okay. But let me be there when you confront them, Master. I want to see the look on those padawans’ faces when they face the unleashed fury of Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi,’ said Anakin, smiling brightly.

Obi Wan laughed and got up.

‘I’ll make sure you are there to see it,’ he said, ruffling Anakin’s hair. ‘So, should I make some pancakes now? I think we need some comfort food to get us through this cold rainy night.’

‘ _Please_ , Master! I’m starving!’


End file.
